


I like it when you…

by turnedherbrain



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fate & Destiny, Romance, post-S3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:06:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnedherbrain/pseuds/turnedherbrain
Summary: Post-s3 Nistrid one-shot.Hiding out in Berlin, Astrid tries to retain some sense of normality, while Niska doesn't always want to play along.





	I like it when you…

**Author's Note:**

> Follows on from the one-shot [The Neon God](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16277618) but can be read separately.

Late November, and the curious sunlight streamed through the barred windows of their Prenzlauer Berg apartment. The bars were a security precaution, but Niska always wondered if it was more to keep her in, than to keep intruders out. She still walked the streets, of course, burning violet eyes glaring through the toughened wraparound shades that Astrid made her wear. On sunny days, they looked just like any other couple.

This time, they paused on their neighbourhood stroll, deliberately nonchalant, Astrid peering into the steamed-up window of a konditorei. The cakes were fresh-baked, designed to draw in customers from the freezing November streets outside.

‘Do you want to…?’ suggested Astrid.

‘I can’t eat,’ replied Niska sulkily.

It was the same at the corner café, outdoor tables filled with huddled university students, hands wrapped around cups, drawing urgently on cigarettes like they were breathing in salvation.

‘Do you…?’

Niska cut Astrid off even earlier this time. ‘I can’t…’

Now Astrid interrupted her: ‘… drink. _I know._ Can’t you just play along? Just this once.’

Niska’s hands scrunched into fists in her pockets, and her eyes narrowed further behind the lenses. All this knowledge. All this… power. And what was she doing? Playing happy couples with her girlfriend. And yet despite herself, it was what she wanted. Just this longed-for space and time. She wanted to make-believe, if only for a minute, that her life was normal.

So she acquiesced to Astrid slightly. They ended up in the human-synth bar in the grotty end of town, a place where the rubbish didn’t get collected and where the jutting, skeletal trees had already lost their leaves. Even inside the relative safety of the bar, Niska kept her glasses firmly on, although her vision stayed unclouded in the dim light. They both stayed hyper-aware of any non-regulars; any swift figure who might want to blast this bar to pieces.

Astrid felt the scars on her back burn once again, and decided not to tell Niska of the pain.

………

It was much later when the red sun sloped across the pavements, the last rays filling the apartment with its lurid light. Astrid decided she wanted to play another game. But it took many entreaties, multiple ‘oh, please please please’, ‘for _me_!’ ‘you know you want to really’s, before Niska would give in. Astrid knew she would. She was probably the only one, organic or synthetic, who could make Niska change her mind.

‘OK, are you ready?’ she asked. They were both lying on their futon, the hard mattress unmoving as Astrid shifted on the counterpane.

Niska sighed out a whole day of relative inactivity. ‘If I must. It’s a silly human game.’

‘ _I’m_ human. And so are you,’ countered Astrid, reaching out to hold her hand in a resolute grip. ‘So, let’s play this silly game. And no cheating. Just because you’re a walking, talking Siri…’

Niska humphed. ‘I’m a bit more powerful than that!’

Astrid laughed in return. She saw it as her job to puncture Niska’s sense of grandeur; keep her from floating V-wards. Stuff like this game was a necessary pastime to remind Niska of her humanity. Just because she was connected, didn’t mean she could forget the strength of her feelings: her anger, her love. Definitely not her love.

‘OK, all powerful one, are you ready?’ Astrid teased, taking hold of Niska’s shorter auburn hair and twisting it idly between her fingers.

Niska turned to face her, indigo eyes still gleaming sharply in the low dusk light. She smiled, that inverted rainbow that only Astrid could procure. ‘ _Ready or not, here I come…_ ’

‘Who’s starting?’

‘You. Since _you_ wanted to play.’

Astrid laughed, ignoring that last comment. She knew exactly how to diffuse the prickliness. ‘OK. Me then. I like it when you… wake, and you have that moment of mussed-up oneness with the world. Before you get so disgruntled.’

‘Disgruntled, eh? Hmmmm… I like it when you call my name. Just the sound of your voice.’

Astrid melted inside. This was a game they’d played numerous times – always at her behest – but it was the first time Niska had said those words. ‘I like it when you… make me coffee, without me having to ask.’

Niska smiled and moved closer, holding out her arm so that Astrid could be cradled in that close sanctuary. ‘I like it when you sleep. You look so beautiful.’ She whispered those words, and Astrid detected a discordance of sadness and happiness; something which said: _‘I like this so very much, but I’m afraid, so afraid it won’t last.’_

‘I like it when you say ‘I love you’ without me saying it first.’ Astrid smiled sadly into the curve of Niska’s collarbone, not feeling a breath, because of course there wasn’t one. Not feeling a heartbeat, because of course there wasn’t one. But she felt the weight of feeling, an admission that said yes, I am human after all. Yes, I’ll give this to you. Because I can’t face it alone. I can’t.

Niska said: ‘I love you’; whispered it into the drawing darkness. She held Astrid close and wanted to stay here, just here; freeze this moment with the person she loved. But she knew that wasn’t possible. She knew that, at some point, she’d be called upon to fulfil her allotted role. What was it humans said? _Destiny calls…?_

Well, her destiny was already there. It was within her, shining through her eyes. It was outside of her, watching from the shadowlands of a wireless world. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

Whatever happened, whatever she was meant to do, she wouldn’t give up Astrid. Not again. Never. _You can take whatever you want away from me,_ Niska challenged the unseen being. _But not this. Never, ever this._

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by The 1975 album and eponymous track: _‘I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it’_.


End file.
